If you want to fire up someone’s mind without making them feel that you are controlling them, you have come to the right place. There are two fundamental ways that you want to learn to distinguish: manipulation and persuasion.
When we are interested in making someone think as we do, we need to make sure that that person doesn’t feel that they are under our control. There is, as you may recognize, a thin line between these two things: persuasion and manipulation. You need to concentrate on the first and avoid the latter.
When you persuade someone, you are getting that person to be convinced to do something for you. Manipulating someone, on the other hand, generally entails the use of dishonest means, and here the ends do not justify the proverbial means.
What differentiates manipulation and persuasion comes down to the question of intentions. If your are honorable, you are not going to come across as a manipulator.
There are many tactics of persuasion that do not get bogged down into manipulation. The first is to make sure you know how to say what you want to say. Just let people know what you want, what your purpose is. Speak up. Share your ideas.
Have you always wanted a big birthday party? Tell your friends that this is something you desire, that this would make you happy. They’ll get the message.
Second, don’t forget that your friends and relatives aim to please you. If they feel that you are a bighearted person, they will act in charitable ways towards you, too.
Also, listen vigilently to what your friends or relatives are saying. See if you can tell whether they have wants or needs. This way you’ll discern whether there is something you could do to help them. Then when it’s your turn to need something, they will be contented to rise to the occasion.
Third, be sure to use words of a positive nature when you address others. Don’t make people feel that gifts or favors will not be rewarded.
Don’t be the kind of person who is too finicky or hard to please; that way your friends or relatives will be reluctant to help you out when you need help.
And if you think you are finicky and hard to please, you know that others are not going to hurry to help you out when you are in need of their help.
So avoid being the kind of person who is always dissatisfied. This way you are never going to be any fun and people will perceive you as selfish and won’t ever give you any nice words of appreciation. So when someone gives you a gift or does you a favor, be sure to thank them for it, make sure they know that you value what they gave you or have done for you. Showing yourself as appreciative will go a long way in showing you in a bright light.
Though life is not always a bowl of cherries, it’s pleasant to have people on our side when we are overwhelmed by the burdens of work or feel depressed or tired. If such situations make your friends hesitant in your presence to see what they can do for you, get out of the way for the time being. But do call your friends or send them an e-mail rather than try to keep them attached to you in times that are trying.
Life isn’t always smooth sailing. Most of the time we are pressured, distressed, exhausted or just too despondent, but a warm touch or a nice gesture will suddenly make it all worth while. But when you are in a real down-time, you should stay away form people. Though it’s a good idea to pick up the phone or send an instant message so people know you are still there but just don’t want to annoy them with your problems.
So the techniques we discuss here are the basics of persuasion that show you how to communicate your needs or wants. Human nature is twofold: we desire to help others, even as we want others to help us.
There is really no hidden knowledge here: if you know the methods of persuasion, you will know how to put into words your needs and wants. Human nature is such that we all want to help and be helped, as the case may be.
Learn how to apply the techniques of persuasion to fire up a mind and make friends. Broaden your horizons. Don’t be a bringer of bad news.
Learn more about Persuasive Skills, at The Art Of Persuasion and claim your Free Special Report which is just packed full of related articles. To find a number of different articles on the subject they can be found at http://persuasiontechniques.org.